Debunking the Allure of Perfection

We all desire to be better than we were yesterday. To be the best teammate possible for our dogs. Especially upon realizing we influence our dog’s ability to efficiently and effectively tackle their searches. This realization can negatively affect our psyche. What if our skills do not rise to occasion? What if we are indeed the weak link?

“I must be perfect, otherwise I am failing my team!”

Depending on your personality, this can send you into quite a tailspin. It may also cause you to become paralyzed, as you are not yet “perfect”, which means if you were to do a training session, for example, your dog would be forced to cope with your less than stellar performance! Oh no!

I speak from experience, having often talked myself into choosing inaction for fear of breaking something.

Yet skills will not magically develop or improve.

Practicing, failing, learning and growing are all a natural part of the process. When we neglect to practice and try, those very skills we were concerned about wither and become encased within layers of mental baggage.

Take leash handling. Competently handling a leash or a long line requires dexterity and mechanical skills. To develop this skillset takes time and practice.

You are guaranteed to get tangled at some point or to feel as though the line is getting away from you. Knowing how and when to feed the line out and reel the line in requires many repetitions as well as trial and error.

Which hand will hold onto the line going to your dog and which hand will hold onto the slack? What if you need to step into your dog to reward them? How will you do that? Do you know the mechanics of reeling the line in to prevent any slack from hitting the ground? If so, now what!? You must collect everything in one hand and have the other hand ready to deliver your reward, whether it be a treat or toy. How will you do that? Then you must be ready to send your dog off to continue searching or exit with them out of the search area. But how? This is complicated and requires a series of repetitions to shift this process from something we are actively and consciously thinking about to pure muscle memory.

However, it is that middle stage of trying and doing that can be particularly painful.

We feel like a bumbling fool who is overwhelmed trying to deal with this unwieldy mess of a line AND trying to watch our dog AND cover the search area AND be a mindful handler all at the very same time! Yet, if we cannot do “all of the things”, doesn’t this mean we are failing our dog in that moment? Isn’t this an example of us being a bad teammate to our dog?

We are not being “perfect” in that moment, and therefore, we are lesser than.

The solution: simply run the search off-leash and bypass the issue altogether. That is closer to the “perfection” picture developed in our mind’s eye. The dog is searching unencumbered by the uncoordinated bumbling human handler. They can go off and be brilliant, I will simply wait here and watch.

This can work for a time until you are called upon to use those leash handling skills.

Let’s say a few friends reach out, wondering if you will join them for a group practice session. They are going to tackle some field trip searches, to get their dogs accustomed to searching in novel locations. What a wonderful opportunity, you are interested in ultimately trialing…but oh wait, that means you would need to search on-leash…but your leash handling skills are trash…your friends will SEE just how bad your leash handling skills are…they will feel bad for your poor dog…no, better to stay home and wait for those leash handling skills to magically get better on their own.

This is just the beginning of how we can spiral into despair. It gets worse.

The desire for perfection will cause us to not want to be reminded when we are far from it.

Take videoing ourselves. You’ve likely heard what a powerful learning tool video is. You have been encouraged to video as many of your training sessions as possible and to order any videos that are available at trials you compete in.

Yet, you are not videoing.

Why? You do not wish to see the video evidence that definitively proves that your leash handling is just as awful as you thought. So, you forgo from videoing your sessions.

Here is the objective truth: your leash handling is probably not as bad as you are making it out to be. Or at the very least, it is not as detrimental to your dog as you may have built up in your mind.

We must embrace the fact that video will show us the object truth. Yes, it will highlight what may need more work but it will also dispel unfounded conclusions and assumptions.

Humor me and consider designing a simple exercise with an open box set out 10’ or so away from your start line. Have this box either filled with several small treats or have your hide heavily paired, so the dog can self-reward upon finding the hide and give you sufficient time to come up and provide some supplemental reward.

The point of this exercise is for you to work on your leash handling. To release your dog from the start line as you remain there, allowing the line to feed out while maintaining consistent connection between you and your dog. Then, when your dog reaches the open container, you will begin to step into your dog, reeling in your line as you do so.

Video your attempt and watch it as objectively as possible. Take note of what you are noticing and focusing on. Be honest about this. Are you looking for everything that is “wrong”? Or are you taking in the full picture – what worked, what needs work and what else you can practice?

Here is my video as an example:

In my case, when I first viewed this video, my immediately thought was, “Man, I am so out of shape.” True, but what does that have to do with my leash handling? Fine, I rewind the video and try to watch it again. “Jeez, I look terrible!” Santos, what are you doing?! Focus on the leash handling! FINE! Upon re-watching it for a third time I think to myself, “Okay, I was able to feed out the line and maintain contact to his harness…oh, but then I do not reel in as nicely as I would have liked. FAIL!”

Really?

Watching the video a fourth time, I can then see my tiny terrier having a BLAST doing this simple exercise. He WANTS to play the game with me. He doesn’t care one iota that I am horrendously out of shape. He will work through my less than stellar mechanical skills, timing and movements. He just wants to play WITH me. Would he do better if I improved? YES! Will he enjoy the process along the way? YES!

Not only was I blowing my lack of skills way out of proportion, I assigned an emotion to my dog that he was not experiencing. He was happily playing with me, not shutdown or despondent due to my mechanical skills.

By latching onto a false picture of “perfection” that will never be attained, by anyone at any time, we limit ourselves as individuals, dog owners, handlers and trainers.

Instead, we should embrace the messy nature that is learning, growing and improving.

Lean into videoing yourself to help yourself grow. Once you conquer that hurdle, start sharing your videos. Pause and ask why you are choosing to share certain videos and not others. Not that you are required to share your every waking moment or thought, but why are you self-censuring? Are you concerned about what others will think or say? Why? Are they living with your dog? Are they partnering with your dog? Are they living your life? The fact is, we build up the opinions of others so high in our own mind, when they are not considering us in the slightest.

We should strive to improve. Push ourselves just outside of our comfort zones. Question the negative self-talk. Avoid placing others onto pedestals as we grovel underneath.

None of this has to do with being “perfect”. There is no such thing. It is about being better and that definition will change from team-to-team and will adjust throughout the entirety of our sniffing journey.

Our dogs want to play with us. Let’s not throw up more barriers preventing us from doing just that.

Do you struggle with getting drawn into the allure of being “perfect”? What have you done to counteract this?

Are you looking to work on your leash handling skills? Check out the Let's Look at Leash Work Webinar with Holly Bushard.

Dianna has been training dogs professionally since 2011. She has done everything from teaching group training classes and private lessons, to specializing in working with fearful, reactive and aggressive dogs, to being a trial official and competition organization staff member.

Following a serious neck and back injury, Dianna was forced to retire from in-person dog training. But she was not ready to give up her passion! So, she created Pet Dog U and Scent Work University to provide outstanding online dog training to as many dog handlers, owners and trainers possible…regardless of where they live! Dianna is incredibly grateful to the amazingly talented group of instructors who have joined PDU and SWU and she looks forward to the continued growth of PDU and SWU and increased learning opportunities all of these online dog training platforms can provide.

In June 2021, Dianna and her business partner, Sean McMurray launched Cyber Scent Work, an organization that operates in the gray space between training and trialing in Scent Work. With Cyber Scent Work, handlers have the opportunity to earn Qs, titles and ribbons while also receiving helpful training advice regardless of whether they qualify or not! The advent of the Cyber Sniffing Games, Traditional Cyber Scent Work Program, in-person and online assessments have been met with much fanfare! Be sure to check out Cyber Scent Work, you will be happy you did!